TWOW 12B/Transcript

• Episode
• Transcript
• Responses

[00:00:00] (The episode opens on the solid background with the inner border.)
Cary	[00:00:00] Welcome to TWOW 12B, artwork graciously provided by John Dubuc. Isn’t it wonderful? [00:00:05] Now, here’s some interesting stats. TWOW 12B marks the twenty-sixth TWOW video, which is also the same number of BFDI season one videos. Coolio! [00:00:15] Also, I’m seven thousand days old today. Such a round number! [00:00:19] Back to actual TWOW matters. I’m bringing Meester Tweester back after seeing evidence of their original PMs. By the way, these were Meester Tweester’s responses, even though they won’t be voted on. Sorry for all the inconveniences, MT. I’m hoping it won’t happen again. [00:00:35] Second: last time, I featured some_nerd (The Pi Guy)’s cool TWOW spreadsheet. I just checked up on it, and, wow, you guys have really pillaged—I mean… uh… contributed to the chat and suggestions page. Like, what’s going on with this map? Why is there so much cancer? And how are there three thousand rows of this? Is… is this artwork? And it looks like they’ve built some statues of TWOW gods. I guess xXBombs_ AwayXx, some_nerd (The Pi Guy), GreenTree, and Riley have been deified. You four can now cross that off your bucket list. [00:01:09] I will admit, I was impressed by this musical notation of the TWOW elimination song that I found in the… so-called… “Image Gallery”.
[00:01:18] (The start of “Childhood Memories of Winter” plays, the notes of the transcription being highlighted as they are played.)
Cary	[00:01:21] Although, it’s not really my music. The piece is “Childhood Memories of Winter” from music4yourvids.co.uk. [00:01:28] But let’s get back on track. This is TWOW 12B, and the twelfth TWOW prompt was, “Jade was climbing a tree in her backyard for fun. She began to feel lonely, so she went to Ruby's house to invite her to climb trees together. Ruby agreed and followed Jade back to Jade's backyard, but upon arriving, Jade instantly knew they would not be climbing trees together. Why?” Not counting Meester Tweester, twenty-six TWOWers submitted twenty-eight responses to that prompt. Out of those twenty-eight TWOWers, the top twenty-one will survive and the bottom five will die. The top three will get a double-response prize for TWOW 13. [00:02:01] In the last episode, 417 voters cast… (Bewildered, in disbelief) 19,136 votes. (Normally) Okay, I really shouldn’t have brought attention to ComputerCat for submitting 564 votes last time, because this time, about a dozen voters cast over one hundred votes each! You stupid little… uh… shiny cowards! (That’s a new insult now, TWOW-certified!) You do remember that you don’t get any additional voting power by doing that, right? I did think about removing votes that were exactly identical, but I was kinda lazy, and also, some people, like ComputerCat, submitted tons of ever so slightly different votes. Whatever, vote count is a near-meaningless metric anyway. [00:02:41] So, which of the twenty-six TWOWers of TWOW 12 responded to the prompt the best? Before I answer that question, I want to point out that there are only four living TWOWers that haven’t top ten-ed yet: GreenTree, Joseph Howard, Ean EStone, and Jennings AsYetUntitled. And guess what: one of underdogs actually won TWOW 12! They won with a percentile of 66.30%. Who was it? Well, it’s… Joseph Howard, who said, “Climbing was now illegal, according to the tree's executive branch.” Congratulations, Joseph, you’re our twelfth round winner! In your response, Ruby and Jade seem to be law-abiding citizens—good for them. Also, you used a pun, marking the second episode in a row where a pun found its way to the top spot. [00:03:27] I wonder, how many of the top ten used puns this time? Pun, pun, pun, pun, pun, pun, pun, pun, pun. Thank you so much for being unique, TheMightyMidge. I like your unexpected turn of events, but it looks like some other voters did not. Your response was the most controversial of all the TWOW 12 entries. [00:03:46] The Futech Hacker, you scored two major achievements this time around. First off, you’re the first TWOWer ever to get both entries in the top ten! Secondly, that third-place percentile, 58.50%, is the lowest percentile ever to still award a prize! But, The Futech Hacker, your responses were a bit unoriginal. “The root of the problem” was a phrase shared with alexlion0511, and replacing “leave” with “leaf” was a strategy shared by Crafty7, though I have to say, Crafty7, you were the only one to use an actual species of tree in your response! Wait, family, not species. [00:04:23] Sam Billinge, good job on fitting two puns in one word—something Spicyman33 was able to do in TWOW 5. [00:04:30] Ping Pong Cup Shots, you made it seem like Ruby faints super easily, but I guess, what do you expect when her composure isn’t rock-solid? [00:04:38] And finally, we find two TWOW gods placing back-to-back: Riley, whose rhyme was astoundingly long, and GreenTree, whose name would indicate they’re perfect for this prompt! [00:04:49] So, this was technically only the top nine—thank The Futech Hacker for that—but that means seventeen TWOWers have not been declared safe yet, and only twelve safe spots remain. Which TWOWers will be able to reach for the next highest branch, and which ones will lose their footing on (Quickly) the very highest branch of Hyperion, the largest tree in the world, and fall over one hundred meters to their TWOW deaths? (Normally) Let’s find out.
[00:05:11] (Safe contestants move one by one into a safe region while a counter for remaining safe spots ticks down. After it hits zero, the eliminated contestants are crossed out. “Childhood Memories of Winter” plays while the final two leaderboard pages begin to be shown.)
Cary	[00:06:09] Goodbye to rinkrat02, Ean EStone, beanme100, former BAGUETTEr THATcommenter, and FlareonTheFlareon. Over the last twenty-four TWOW videos, we’ve gotten to know you so well. That’s why it’s so hard for us to accept the fact that, like Jade or Ruby, who might not exist according to TheMightyMidge, you five TWOWers won’t be able to climb any higher up the TWOW tree. Rest in peace.
[00:06:35] (The music and setting return.)
Cary	[00:06:35] I updated the TWOW normal distribution curves again, and got this. Due to placing at the second-to-last safe spot, Tak Ajnin lost sixteen points to now have a twenty-eight percent chance of winning TWOW. And for the first time, every person has a noticable chance of winning TWOW, with Jennings AsYetUntitled finally registering with 0.01%!
[00:06:56] (The book montage begins to scroll by.)
Cary (TWOW 1B)	[00:06:56] To summarize, here’s who’s still in and who’s eliminated. If you’re eliminated, you won’t be able to send me any more responses for upcoming TWOW season 1 prompts.
[00:07:06] (The screen returns.)
Cary	[00:07:06] Okay, onto TWOW 13, which will be unlucky for about four of you. [00:07:10] Remaining twenty-two TWOWers, the thirteenth TWOW prompt is, “Try to sound as intelligent as possible while misspelling every word.” There’s a lot open for interpretation here: what does “intelligent” mean? what actually counts as misspelling a word? and so on, so have fun with it! [00:07:26] Submit your responses via YouTube PM to me, carykh, by May 20, 2016, at 10 PM UTC. Joseph Howard, Sam Billinge, and The Futech Hacker, you get to submit two entries to this prompt, and only the better one will count. [00:07:40] Voting on these responses will commence in TWOW 13A. See you then!
[00:07:43] (The screen fades to black.)